all about love; new visions by bell hooks

week three.
I'm so lucky. I learn valuable lessons every time I read. And in this case, I learned one of the most important ones on the pages in this book.

a (genuine) definition of love
M. Scott Peck defines love as the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth. Love is as love does. Love is an act of will, both and intention and an action. Will implies choice. We do not have to love. We chose to love.
explaining love as the will to nurture someone else's spiritual growth really made me think.The times when I really felt "in love" i remember thinking more about the other and bout myself. really caring for her well being than my own. Hooks continues; to truly love we must learn to mix ingredients - care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment and trust.
This is why love is hard work. A good, daily, careful, beautiful work, but a work that must be done with care and affection. With respect and recognition, and with commitment and trust. I see it clearly now. More than ever, perhaps because as Hooks does, I believe in definitions. They help us understand and guide us in our journey.

A poem
As a woman and a lover, however, I am moved by the sight of my beloved. Where he is, I want to be. What he suffers, I want to share. Who he is, I want to be.
Santa Teresa de Avila
To feel so much love, is to care so much about the other, you want to be them. Occupy the same space in the universe, as one. That's a soul mate, a communion with another.

My doctrine
to fill the gap between the values I claim to hold and my willingness to do the work of connecting thought and action.

I found that for being a book about love, the lessons shared by Ms. Hooks had a melancholic tone of pessimism. But I did get a definition of love that appeals to my intellectual side, and I'm thankful for that. I only hope I love with care, affection, recognition, respect, commitment and trust often.